Forgiveness Is Not Pretending
"Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3:13 There's a quiet misunderstanding that keeps a lot of people from forgiving anyone, ever: the belief that forgiveness means saying what happened was okay. That to forgive is to minimize the wound, to pretend it didn't leave a mark, to act as if the offense simply wasn't that serious. Forgiveness does none of that. It doesn't minimize what happened. It refuses to let what happened define the future. That's a meaningful distinction, and it's worth separating from another word people often confuse with it: reconciliation. Reconciliation requires two willing people — the one who was wronged, and the one who did the wronging, both moving toward repair. Forgiveness requires only one. It's the decision to release the debt rather than keep carrying it, regardless of whether the other person eve...